Blog Comments (Term 2)

Comment on Koh Yi Da’s Blog (08), “Thoughts about Libyan Crisis (Gadaffi)”, March 31
“I agree very much, I would protest as well. In my blog I posted a post on issues that foment political unrest and stated various factors. In the case of Libya it would be authoritarianism. Gaddafi kills anyone in his way, thus you could say its "ruling with fear". The way he kills his own citizens really shows what he is. He is similar to the ousted presidents in Tunisia and Egypt, who suppressed political opposition. I believe such methods will not work for long. Sooner or later, just as with Egypt and Tunisia, the citizens will start to protest and will overthrow him. And yes, he's definitely not a nice guy.”
- April 9, 2011

Comment on Samuel Wong’s Blog (21), “Blog Prompt 8” [My Favourite Poem], March 2
“I would like to add that there is repetition through the poem to create emphasis.”Childhood is ....” which emphasises the meaning of childhood. Additionally, the poem states that childhood is "easily moulded", but manhood "breaks, but seldom bends". It shows that a child can be changed easily, and must be taught early, before he grows up to an adult, where he will be difficult to change. I agree with you about the fact that a child should go unrestrained. The poem compares restraining a child to damming a river. This creates emphasis and also imagery. The image of damming a river comes to your mind. You can imagine the water (the child's adventurous spirit) gushes at the dam, throwing itself on it, yet it only trickles over the dam slowly. This shows how restraining the child will affect him. Overall, I really like this poem, as it has a great use of metaphor, which entices the reader.”
- April 9, 2011

Comment on Low Wei Yang’s Blog (13), “Annotating Text – Why is it crucial?”, March 27
“I agree with you very much. I believe annotating text can go beyond simple highlighting and underlining (as many people do). For me when I annotate "To Kill A Mockingbird", I write a chapter summary of each chapter so that it is easy for reference. This also applies to any IH notes given to us by Ms Yeo. I believe that by annotating text, it makes it easier to memorise and we can familiarise ourselves with the text. In addition, as you mentions, it helps us find some important details we might have missed out if we were to just simply read. Other than annotating, there are various ways to help us with understanding a text or topic, for example, creating graphic organisers like concept maps, etc.”
- April 10, 2011

Comment on Low Wei Yang’s Blog (13), “ACE Journal Reflection: Words Go Round 2011”, March 11
“I would like to disagree with you about how literature us all about talent. Does it mean that people that are not talented are not able to write good pieces of work? I believe literature is about creativity. You mentioned that a good piece of writing should have little descriptive language, but I would like to rebutt this point. Surely descriptive language is important in a piece of writing. Although it is one of the key points, having a creative idea alone does not make one a good writer. We must be able to express ourselves so that the reader can understand us. The use of descriptive language will help the reader understand the piece of writing.”
- April 11, 2011

Comment on Lee Liak Ghee’s Blog (11), “Capital Punishment”, April 11
“Although you make sense in saying about how capital punishment does not allow the person to repent, however, if we were to put ourselves in the shoes of the victim, the victim will feel a sense of insecurity. If a serial killer was close to killing the victim, and was later caught but not hanged (not dealt with by capital punishment), the victim will feel that the killer would come again and harm him/her. Also, for the society, if there was a serial killer on the loose, would you feel safe walking on the streets at night? Just as with the incident of Mas Selamat, who escaped his cell. The government had to spend so much resources just to find him, even informing the Malaysian police to help as well. With the reasons above, I would like to rebutt your point about capital punishment not being allowed.”
- April 11, 2011

Comment on Low Wei Yang’s Blog (13), Expository Essay, April 22
“I think that you could have done a better job on paragraphing. Your first point states that television programmes are violent. However, you end the paragraph saying how teenagers might become addicted. Perhaps you could split the paragraph into two?
Also, I agree with Liak Ghee. How the television being less influential than the computer make it less influential ITSELF? As a counter-argument, you should state how is IT not too influential, not other things being more influential.
Some work needs to be done on grammar and choice of words too :) Otherwise I think it's quite a good essay.”
- April 24, 2011

Comment on Ivan Ong’s Blog (19), Expository Essay, April 22
“Good use of a hook but thesis statement is not stated. Your first point is ok.
However, your second point is invalid. There are too many points in there, and they are all not related either. If the company has to pay so many people to produce the show, why would they pay the celebrity so much money? If the company has to pay the nutritionist, doctor, etc. AND the bodybuilder, why would they pay so much to the bodybuilder? This is not clearly stated.
Your third point is also a repeat of your first point, about how celebrities are highly skilled and sought out.
Your argument is not strong enough to support your stand.”
- April 24, 2011

Comment on Nicholas Teo’s Blog (18), Expository Essay, April 22
“Opening quote totally does the trick. Your stand is very clear - supported with many examples that we can relate to, making your points stand out.
HOWEVER, I suggest that you have different points, instead of simply just saying that computers have improved our quality of life. Break down improving "quality of life", and you get "medical facilities", "variety of leisure options" and "convenience". Of your three paragraphs, instead of harping on quality of life, focus each of the paragraphs on each of the points. Then finally in your conclusion, state that these helps improve the quality of life.
There is a huge variety of ideas in there, BUT please work on organisation, don't clump everything together. It makes it difficult to understand. Still it's quite a good essay, was really caught by the hook :)”
- April 24, 2011

Comment Lee Liak Ghee’s Blog (10), Expository Essay, April 21
I feel that you could have done a better job on providing different examples of the topic, which makes your essay more credible and realistic. However, I think you should have a stronger stand on your point of view if you had a better starting, for an instance, having a better hook. To say honestly, I didn't really want to read on when I saw the start of your essay. Despite this, I should note that you ended off your essay quite well as there is a clear conclusion, which helps you have a stronger stand in your argument. Like Wei Kiat mentioned, a good start and end would have enhanced the effect of the essay on the reader.
- April 29, 2011

Comment on Koh Yi Da’s Blog (08), Expository Essay, April 25
Firstly, I like the way you look at things in different point of view. It shows that you have analysed the essay question extensively. The idea of balance between work and play is conveyed clearly, making your stand more solid. Your conclusion was effective and further amplified the effectiveness of your argument, which is good.
However, you have exceeded the 500 word limit by more than 200 words. Also, your counter argument is not effective. You could have provided more examples throughout the whole essay to make it more realistic and thus more effective.
Language-wise, you have a few spelling and grammar errors. I would like to comment on the wide use of vocabulary though, which is good. The structure is alright as well. Overall, I think this is a good essay.
- April 30, 2011