Blog Comments (Term 2)

Comment on Koh Yi Da’s Blog (08), “Thoughts about Libyan Crisis (Gadaffi)”, March 31
“I agree very much, I would protest as well. In my blog I posted a post on issues that foment political unrest and stated various factors. In the case of Libya it would be authoritarianism. Gaddafi kills anyone in his way, thus you could say its "ruling with fear". The way he kills his own citizens really shows what he is. He is similar to the ousted presidents in Tunisia and Egypt, who suppressed political opposition. I believe such methods will not work for long. Sooner or later, just as with Egypt and Tunisia, the citizens will start to protest and will overthrow him. And yes, he's definitely not a nice guy.”
- April 9, 2011

Comment on Samuel Wong’s Blog (21), “Blog Prompt 8” [My Favourite Poem], March 2
“I would like to add that there is repetition through the poem to create emphasis.”Childhood is ....” which emphasises the meaning of childhood. Additionally, the poem states that childhood is "easily moulded", but manhood "breaks, but seldom bends". It shows that a child can be changed easily, and must be taught early, before he grows up to an adult, where he will be difficult to change. I agree with you about the fact that a child should go unrestrained. The poem compares restraining a child to damming a river. This creates emphasis and also imagery. The image of damming a river comes to your mind. You can imagine the water (the child's adventurous spirit) gushes at the dam, throwing itself on it, yet it only trickles over the dam slowly. This shows how restraining the child will affect him. Overall, I really like this poem, as it has a great use of metaphor, which entices the reader.”
- April 9, 2011

Comment on Low Wei Yang’s Blog (13), “Annotating Text – Why is it crucial?”, March 27
“I agree with you very much. I believe annotating text can go beyond simple highlighting and underlining (as many people do). For me when I annotate "To Kill A Mockingbird", I write a chapter summary of each chapter so that it is easy for reference. This also applies to any IH notes given to us by Ms Yeo. I believe that by annotating text, it makes it easier to memorise and we can familiarise ourselves with the text. In addition, as you mentions, it helps us find some important details we might have missed out if we were to just simply read. Other than annotating, there are various ways to help us with understanding a text or topic, for example, creating graphic organisers like concept maps, etc.”
- April 10, 2011

Comment on Low Wei Yang’s Blog (13), “ACE Journal Reflection: Words Go Round 2011”, March 11
“I would like to disagree with you about how literature us all about talent. Does it mean that people that are not talented are not able to write good pieces of work? I believe literature is about creativity. You mentioned that a good piece of writing should have little descriptive language, but I would like to rebutt this point. Surely descriptive language is important in a piece of writing. Although it is one of the key points, having a creative idea alone does not make one a good writer. We must be able to express ourselves so that the reader can understand us. The use of descriptive language will help the reader understand the piece of writing.”
- April 11, 2011

Comment on Lee Liak Ghee’s Blog (11), “Capital Punishment”, April 11
“Although you make sense in saying about how capital punishment does not allow the person to repent, however, if we were to put ourselves in the shoes of the victim, the victim will feel a sense of insecurity. If a serial killer was close to killing the victim, and was later caught but not hanged (not dealt with by capital punishment), the victim will feel that the killer would come again and harm him/her. Also, for the society, if there was a serial killer on the loose, would you feel safe walking on the streets at night? Just as with the incident of Mas Selamat, who escaped his cell. The government had to spend so much resources just to find him, even informing the Malaysian police to help as well. With the reasons above, I would like to rebutt your point about capital punishment not being allowed.”
- April 11, 2011

Comment on Low Wei Yang’s Blog (13), Expository Essay, April 22
“I think that you could have done a better job on paragraphing. Your first point states that television programmes are violent. However, you end the paragraph saying how teenagers might become addicted. Perhaps you could split the paragraph into two?
Also, I agree with Liak Ghee. How the television being less influential than the computer make it less influential ITSELF? As a counter-argument, you should state how is IT not too influential, not other things being more influential.
Some work needs to be done on grammar and choice of words too :) Otherwise I think it's quite a good essay.”
- April 24, 2011

Comment on Ivan Ong’s Blog (19), Expository Essay, April 22
“Good use of a hook but thesis statement is not stated. Your first point is ok.
However, your second point is invalid. There are too many points in there, and they are all not related either. If the company has to pay so many people to produce the show, why would they pay the celebrity so much money? If the company has to pay the nutritionist, doctor, etc. AND the bodybuilder, why would they pay so much to the bodybuilder? This is not clearly stated.
Your third point is also a repeat of your first point, about how celebrities are highly skilled and sought out.
Your argument is not strong enough to support your stand.”
- April 24, 2011

Comment on Nicholas Teo’s Blog (18), Expository Essay, April 22
“Opening quote totally does the trick. Your stand is very clear - supported with many examples that we can relate to, making your points stand out.
HOWEVER, I suggest that you have different points, instead of simply just saying that computers have improved our quality of life. Break down improving "quality of life", and you get "medical facilities", "variety of leisure options" and "convenience". Of your three paragraphs, instead of harping on quality of life, focus each of the paragraphs on each of the points. Then finally in your conclusion, state that these helps improve the quality of life.
There is a huge variety of ideas in there, BUT please work on organisation, don't clump everything together. It makes it difficult to understand. Still it's quite a good essay, was really caught by the hook :)”
- April 24, 2011

Comment Lee Liak Ghee’s Blog (10), Expository Essay, April 21
I feel that you could have done a better job on providing different examples of the topic, which makes your essay more credible and realistic. However, I think you should have a stronger stand on your point of view if you had a better starting, for an instance, having a better hook. To say honestly, I didn't really want to read on when I saw the start of your essay. Despite this, I should note that you ended off your essay quite well as there is a clear conclusion, which helps you have a stronger stand in your argument. Like Wei Kiat mentioned, a good start and end would have enhanced the effect of the essay on the reader.
- April 29, 2011

Comment on Koh Yi Da’s Blog (08), Expository Essay, April 25
Firstly, I like the way you look at things in different point of view. It shows that you have analysed the essay question extensively. The idea of balance between work and play is conveyed clearly, making your stand more solid. Your conclusion was effective and further amplified the effectiveness of your argument, which is good.
However, you have exceeded the 500 word limit by more than 200 words. Also, your counter argument is not effective. You could have provided more examples throughout the whole essay to make it more realistic and thus more effective.
Language-wise, you have a few spelling and grammar errors. I would like to comment on the wide use of vocabulary though, which is good. The structure is alright as well. Overall, I think this is a good essay.
- April 30, 2011

Poetry

Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Figurative language is used in this poem to describe the author's emotions. It describes the author’s feelings taking the road less travelled by. Symbolism is used in this poem. It describes the different elements affecting his decisions as well as his emotions.
This poem uses figurative language in an interesting way. It uses metaphors and similes to more effectively describe the author's decision to take the road less travelled. This poem can be applied to a person's life. The traveler is a person who has two choices, which are represented in the poem by the two roads in the woods. The person takes the time to consider both choices and all sides to them by examining the paths. The traveler cannot come back to the other road because in real life, time cannot be reversed. In this case, the person takes the path where “few travelled by”.

Poem - The Lesson (Please google it, the paragraphing doesn't work when I copy it over)
The teacher sees the students as naughty and disrespectful and that they need to be taught a lesson. The teacher does not care the least for the students and uses violence to teach them a lesson. The teacher's strategy has both good and bad points. It can teach the students not to be so naughty and disrespectful. However, it may teach the students that violence is the answer to everything, which is wrong. Thus, this method may not be effective. It is also considered “ruling with fear”. A teacher should be teaching the students to be respectful without using violence. (This reflects the idea of a Tiger Mom – refer to another of my blog post on that J)

Mark Zuckerberg – Because Facebook can be a lifesaver

Many might argue that Facebook is a waste of precious time, a platform for cyber-bullying, and many other negative points. This leads us yet again, to answer this question – Should Facebook and other social networking sites be banned? (refer to blog post on Intifada page)

However, I read in a Times news article, about how Facebook can be a lifesaver. Below is recount on the incident.

Many would have heard about love stories, and how couples have met through Facebook. But for April Capone, it would be a love story unlike any other. He never knew that when he created a Facebook account to connect with his family and friends, he would find that one of his residents needed a kidney. Carlos Sanchez, who was looking for a new chance at life, was desperately looking for one. And of course April Capone donated his kidney!

Would Carlos have found a kidney without the help of Facebook? We wouldn’t know, but he definitely was saved because of Facebook this time.

Facebook is a platform for communication. Every new technology has its good points and bad points. If there was no new technology, how would the world even improve at all? Additionally, It is not because of the technology that is causing all the troubles, but the human that is abusing the technology that is meant for good. I believe that many of us would agree that Facebook does greater good than harm generally.

Every year, nearly 7000 people die in U.S while waiting for a transplant. Now we know of one person who survived, thanks to Mark Zuckerberg, and his idea of Facebook J.

Analysis of Killing my Sister's Fish (Just another poem that I like... Enjoy! :D)

Killing My Sister’s Fish

I picked the bottle with its gladiator shoulders –

inside its shirred greyish plastic

ammonia, more muscular than water, pungent –

I poured one dollop, gleaming genie,

into the bowl with my sister’s goldfish

just because they were alive, and she liked them.

It was in the basement, near the zinc-lined sinks

and the iron-board, next to the boiler,

beside the door to the cellar from which

I could get into the crawl space

under the corner of the house, and lie

on the dirt on my back, as if passed out.

I may have been on my way there

when I saw the bowl, and the ammonia curled

for a moment in the air like a spirit. Then I crawled up

under the floor-joist, into the tangent

where the soil curved up, and I lay there

at the ends of the earth, as if without

regret, as if something set in motion

long before I had been conceived

had been accomplished.

This poem shows sibling rivalry, where one sibling is angry with the other. Being in a family with 3 siblings, it is not rare for me to have disagreements with my siblings. I have chosen this poem to be in the anthology because it closely relates to my life. In the past, after quarrelling with any on my siblings, I would usually take, damage or throw away an object that they like a lot to spite them.

In this case, the persona, is angry with his sister because of something, and decides to kill his sister’s beloved fish by pouring detergent into the water. This poem effectively describes the emotions and feelings of the persona using imagery.

Poem Analysis

Language –

• Usage of personification
• “gladiator shoulders” refers to the detergent bottle. This shows that the persona thinks that detergent is “strong”.
• “more muscular than water” refers to the detergent.
• “gleaming genie” refers to the detergent, as if like a gleaming genie.
• “ammonia curled for a moment in the air like a spirit” shows the detergent as being magical, having the power to take away the life of the fish
• Usage of enjambment
• Helps evoke a sense of lack of control in the persona
• Emphasis on certain words that ends at the end of the line but the sentence continues on the next line. “curled” in “ammonia curled for a moment in the air like a spirit”. “crawled up” in “I crawled up under the floor-joist”
• Allows a rise and fall in tonal progression.
• No certain rhyme scheme
• Indicates that the persona is probably too confused or angry to bother to have a rhyme scheme, showing emotions.

Imagery –

• Uses detailed descriptions
• “shirred grey plastic” describes the detergent bottle
• From such a detailed description, we can see that the persona is probably having strong emotions (nervousness, excitement, fear, anger, etc.) while carrying out the act of killing his sister’s fish, since the detergent is also part of this killing of the fish.
• “zinc-lined sinks” goes to the extent of describing the lining of the sink, which shows how well the persona knows the place.
• From this, we can infer that the persona almost refers to this place as a sanctuary and a secret place for him to contemplate his deeds.
• “ammonia curled for a moment in the air like a spirit” shows the detergent as it diffuses into the water.
• From this, we can infer that the persona probably thinks that the detergent is somehow magical, like a “gleaming genie”

Analysis of Flanders Field Poem

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie,
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

First I think that this poem is very well-written because it properly describes the soldiers’ emotions about the war.

The poem starts off with Flanders field and the poppies that grow in abundance. The poppies mentioned in the poem grew widespread in Flanders, in the battlefields and cemeteries where war casualties were buried, thus representing the soldiers. The larks in the sky represent the hope of the dead soldiers, the soldiers that are still fighting on, thus “bravely singing”.

The second stanza shows how sudden can the change in life be. Just days ago the soldiers were alive, well, loved, but now their dead and they lie in Flanders Field. Also, the usage of short instead of another word in “short days ago” (despite it not being grammatically correct), is to show how these days were passed shortly, with all the fighting, where there is no peace.

The third stanza is a plea from the dead soldiers, for the ones still alive to fight on. The use of the torch as a metaphor and to “hold it high”, is the dead soldiers passing the responsibility to the ones alive, for the ones alive to “take up quarrel with the foe”, to fight the enemy. “We shall not sleep” if “ye break the faith with us” means that if the soldiers alive fail to defeat the enemy, the ones that are dead will not rest in peace.

Should Singlish be recognized as an official language in Singapore?

Today, Singlish is spoken by almost every Singaporean, and is severely abhorred by the government it causes Singaporeans to appear to have a bad command of the English language. I think that Singlish should not be recognised as an official language in Singapore.

Singlish as an official language will make Singaporean’s standard of English drop. As a result, we might weaken our global connections as English is an international language of communication. The Speak Good English Movement by the government already shows that Singlish has affected our Standard English, so much that the government has to step in.

Recognising Singlish as an official language of Singapore will make students think that it is alright not to learn Standard English because Singlish is an official language of Singapore. This will result in our standard of English dropping even further. Even without Singlish as an official language, there is a widespread use of Singlish by the student to the teacher, and for some even when they are presenting in a formal occasion. Thus, we must not further worsen this negative trend by making Singlish an official language in Singapore.

Currently, television shows in Singlish are subjected to severe criticism from the better educated part of society, due to its detrimental effects on the education of their children. This supports the point the Singlish affects our standard of English.

One may argue that Singlish is an important part of our culture. However, it being an important part of our culture does not mean we must recognise it as an official language. The Singapore government has not banned Singlish as they have recognised that Singlish is an important part of our culture as well, to show our multi-racial ties. We can still use Singlish in conversations with other Singaporeans.

All in all, I think that we do not have to abolish Singlish completely, but Singlish should not be recognised as an official language in Singapore.

I also have provided the other side of the argument.

I think that Singlish should be recognised as an official language of Singapore.

The Singapore government has therefore proposed movements to encourage students to “speak good English”, but in my opinion, these initiatives lack substantial driving force, for it is virtually impossible to encourage someone to stop speaking what they have been speaking all their lives. The difficulty is analogous to a situation where Americans are required to speak English like the British. These difficulties arise simply because the different figures of speech and expressions used in the same language are already deeply rooted in each culture.

Many people are for the idea of banning shows in Singlish, and at present, local actors are required to speak in good English, which in many cases sound unnatural and does not reflect the true context of the Singaporean setting.

Making Singlish official also has the effect of boosting national identity. With everyone speaking a common language, Singlish (which we are already doing), we can connect ourselves with each other. Just like how Malays speak to each other in the Malay language, us as Singaporeans can do so as well. This increases our closeness as a community.

In the future, Singlish would play an ever increasing role to characterize Singapore, as Singapore evolves from a nation with humble beginnings to a country with a distinct culture. Singapore should proud of our true national language, Singlish.